The Diary of A Grounded Gamer
by Celia
Summary: It's done folks. El Finito. That's all she wrote. But what are you listening to me for? Get going and read it!
1. Grounded

Disclaimer: Me? Own Squaresoft? *laughs hysterically* But I do own the Accursed Lock (TM) 

  
  


Prologue

  
  


Our story begins with a sad, lonely little girl. Like most sad and lonely girls, she usually got good grades. Usually. So, naturally, the sad and lonely girl's parents weren't too happy to find a C- on the girls report card. Like most parents of Sad and Lonely children, they decided the cause was the cute and innocent Playstation that had never done anything to them except look cute and innocent when its sad and lonely owner was caught playing Final Fantasy IX at 3 Am (she was at the end of disk three). For some odd reason, parents of sad and lonely children never seem to blame the grumpy and mean teachers...But anyway, they had grounded their sad and lonely child from the Cute and Innocent Playsation for spring vacation. This was bad.

  
  


Do you know how I know that this was bad? Would you like to know? No? Well I'll tell you anyway. It's is because I am the Sad and Lonely girl. Pretty pathetic, huh? Anyway, this is my story...

  
  
  
  
  
  


The Diary of A Grounded Gamer

  
  


Entry #1

First Day Of Spring Break

  
  


I never quite understood the reason for which I was grounded. After all, what healthy teen doesn't stay up until sunrise at one point in their lives? For that matter, what healthy teen understood their parent's decisions at all? 

Understood or not though, here I stood, waving to my parents as they pulled out of the mile long driveway. Twas the first Saturday of a vacation I would be spending alone, and my favored companion, the trusty Playstation that had survived several moves, falls, attacks by younger siblings, was locked away in the cupboard, not to be seen until Monday. 

  
  


Why me?

  
  


An entire week with the house to myself, my terror of a little brother and four younger demons-I mean sisters would be leaving with my parents for a week of 'Quality Family Fun' at Pony Land. For once, I, being the eldest, was aloud to skip the embarrassment and stay home. Why report cards didn't come out a week later is anyone's guess, but I'm going to murder the person who decided to be ahead of schedule at the good ole highschool. Murder them and stomp on what was left.

Even that, though satisfying as it may be, couldn't change the fact that my beloved Playstation was locked in the 'Grounding Cupboard' along with all my games and the computer's phone line. Allow me a quick recap now- no Internet, no video games, and the no having friends over. When you live in the literal 'middle of no where' (Thompson's Creek, Kansas), you have the equivalent of solitary confinement. 

Isn't that illegal or something?

But I will return to my present situation, namely waving goodbye to my family, in an effort to stop my incessant whining. After closing the dull white front door of my dull once white, now a sickly beige home, I found myself with nothing to do. Wandering around aimlessly gets boring after a while, and my wandering always seemed to stop in front of that vile cupboard. There it was, its pristine brass lock taunting me. It laughed at the fact that I had finally reached the fourth disk, and needed only to walk through the remainder of Memoria and, well, you know the rest. I had nightmares about that cupboard.

After an agonizingly slow hour of repeating the process of wandering around and staring at the shiny lock, I finally came to a conclusion. I was going to have to break in and rescue 'Ole Trusty'... 

  
  
  
  


It's been two hours. 

Well, I must say I admit defeat. After employing every lock-breaking, wood-busting, and locker combination known to mankind, the shiny lock still stands, undefeated. I'm beginning to wonder if its really a lock at all. From my personal experience, its got a better chance of being an agent of the underworld than the peaceful lock that it appears to be. In any case, I'm starved. I will have to put a halt to my endeavors until a better method is found, or at least until my stomach is full...

  
  


Twelve minutes to ten o'clock. I'll remember that date for as long as I live. For at that exact moment, the demon lock from the great beyond was finally swayed to my overpowering will. The lock has been vanquished and now I am happily facing Necron. Oh joy of joys! In case you are wondering, it took a good deal of firepower and a.22 gauge to finally get the thing off. Have to go now, don't want to die again. Blasted Necron.

  
  
  
  


*That night, the Sad and Lonely Girl set her diary on the bedside table, dreaming of the magnificent ending cinema she had just witnessed, unbeknownst to her, though, the Lock from You-Know-Where had other ideas. So some girl was going to tamper with it, huh? Use pathetic human weaponry to blow it to tarnished smithereens? Not on it's watch. The Cursed Lock would have its revenge...lightning lit up the shimmering remains, making them seem to be grinning devilishly in the darkness. Just across the room, the Playstation began to hum as the little green light flicked on...*

  
  
  
  


To be continued... 

  
  
  
  
  
  


Soon, my pretties, soon... *laughs like a maniac* Hee hee! I love my evil lock. It will have its revenge, and then we'll have more of the FF9 cast. Bet you can guess what happens next. R&R folks!

  
  


-Celia


	2. Zidane vs. The Furnace

Disclaimer: It wasn't me. Honest.  
  
I have reviews? Reviews? Me?  
  
*Celia goes into shock*  
  
Um…well…I guess this means I will have to continue. Here it is, part two of the Diary. I'd like to dedicate it to all the people who reviewed. To put in a few words, 'I…so happy.' Thanks!  
  
  
  
The Diary of a Grounded Gamer  
  
  
  
Entry#2  
  
The Second Day of Spring Vacation  
  
I can not believe it. I have witnessed a miracle to rival the parting of the Red Sea.  
  
I'll try to record it here.  
  
This morning, I walked down the stairs to get my daily cup of hot chocolate, as I did every day of the week. At first, nothing seemed out of the ordinary, I had on my usual Scooby-Doo slippers and my 'Have a nice Day' mug. But before I could prepare my hot chocolate, I heard a calamity coming from the basement. Worried that something, or someone, could have fallen on-and crushed-my beloved Playstation, I ran down to the family room to find the surprise of my young life.  
  
There, sitting on the vomit-colored upholstery of my mother's old hand-me- down couch, were four very confused, very tired, very familiar, and *very* out of place heroes. Needless to say, my initial reaction was to scream my lungs out. Unfortunately, 'the nightmare syndrome' (i. e. the inability to run, scream, or anything else for that matter) had already taken hold.  
  
Zidane seemed to feel the same way. Dagger, on the other hand, had ideas of her own. I think poor Vivi's hearing will never be the same. Freya was the only who seemed to retain her ability to speak. Her voice is quite interesting, might I add. A lot better sounding than you would expect of a rat woman. Very refined.  
  
The conversation, if you could call it that, went much like you would expect it to, full of 'who are you' and 'what is that' and 'what are you talking about' and 'leggo of my tail!'  
  
Er, I believe the last phrase needs explaining. The savior of Gaia decided that the best thing to do in his situation would be to bolt, and acted accordingly. I, not knowing what to do, grabbed his tail in an effort to stop him from leaving. That turned out to be a very bad move on my part.  
  
After being dragged a few feet by inertia, having my ears damaged by an earsplitting caterwaul, and finding myself up against the wall with the edge of Ultima Weapon at my throat, received a very short lecture on what he thought about tail-snatching. It could boil down to 'touch the tail and die.'  
  
Now that I look back on it, I wish I hadn't been wearing the slippers.  
  
In any case, we were able to come to the conclusion that this was *not* Gaia, I was *not* an agent of evil, neither party had a clue of how they arrived here, and Vivi was hungry. A loud rumbling sound coming from his general direction confirmed the last bit. So our little group trudged up the stairs to the kitchen. Many what's and why's were heard, the toaster and microwave being the cause of most, but breakfast went nearly without a hitch aside from that. Nearly.  
  
My parents had stocked the pantry with enough food to feed a small army for a week. They hadn't been counting on a Terran metabolism. I would need to restock before the end of the week, that was for sure. I had turned seventeen a few weeks ago, and driving wasn't a problem, but…well, I didn't really want to leave the cast of FFIX home alone.  
  
Case in point?  
  
The time: this afternoon. The scene: my brother's room. The reason: Trying to get a bed ready for Vivi. The group had come to the conclusion that, though it hopefully wasn't permanent, they could not return to the world of Gaia. We still had no idea how they had gotten here in the first place. The incident: To put it bluntly, never send Freya and Zidane on a mission to gather sheets. It will not work. I remember going down stairs, looking for some clothes that might fit Dagger, when a loud crash caught my attention…  
  
*the words fade away as the scene seems to come to life*  
  
Zidane stared at the mountain of stuff piled in the storage room. How the heck was he going to find a bunch of sheets when the only clue he had was that they were quote-'in a pile next to a box by the thing'? Everywhere you looked there were boxes next to things that did who knew what. Oh well…  
  
Vaulting over the rickety banister onto the floor, he quickly became lost in a cloud of dust. Waving away the smoke, he caught a glimpse of something white before another dirt-devil was raised by the dragoon behind him.  
  
"Exactly what does she mean by 'the thing' anyway?" coughed Freya, eyes watering beneath the wrinkled orange helmet.  
  
The genome scanned the dirt-blurred room, "How should I know? Just keep looking. I'll go this way."  
  
Freya nodded and used her spear to help herself up. Turning, she walked deeper into the maze that made up their host's basement. Zidane's footsteps faded away behind her. I wonder where Kansas is…the Dragoon thought to herself. In all her travels, and after spending almost a year of studying at Daurgeurro, (looking for a cure for Frately's amnesia) she had never heard of Kansas, or Thereal World. Or Squaresoft for that matter….  
  
Zidane slowly unsheathed Ultima Weapon, slipping the twin daggers into the connecting rod. The soft blue glow of the weapon lit up the monster in front of him. Dark and metallic, the creature emitted a low growl, fangs glowing eerily. Strange characters covered it, running up and down its sides, with words like WARNING and CAUTION: HOT written in bold script. The growling got louder.  
  
He took a step back, tail lashing from side to side in agitation. Whatever the thing was, the air around it was heating up, almost like it was getting ready to cast a spell. Zidane didn't want to be around to find out, a quick slash from the dual blades should take care of it, but he didn't want to take any chances. Better use Grand Lethal, just in case…  
  
*the scene fades away, as the diary's words appear again*  
  
Zidane in Trance Mode is scary. That's all there is to it. I know that in the game, all there is a light show and reddish aura, but when you come face to face with him in real life…well…I wouldn't care to run into him on a dark night. Needless to say, Grand Lethal is even worse. The explosions on screen are impressive, but I must say that the neon glow of the Terran writing combined with the Dyne's destructive forces make, pardon the expression, one heck of a show. Amazingly, nothing but the supposed 'monster' was damaged. He must be able to control the blasts. Dyne *is* supposed to be something like thought turned into energy, but this is just maddening.  
  
Needless to say, our furnace is no more.  
  
  
  
Now it is sunset, and Garnet Til' Alexandrios the 17th has become the first Queen of Alexandria to use toothpaste. She firmly believes that it's the best thing since the peanut butter and jelly sandwich (she was introduced to that at lunch today). Zidane has single-handedly cleared out the pantry, Freya has learned how to use the Internet (and is searching for a cure for amnesia with it), and Vivi is still cute as a button in a baseball cap. I'm having a hard time resisting the urge to glomp the little mage.  
  
There were many more happenings, each as interesting as the last, but it is twelve minutes to Ten o'clock and I must go to bed. Tomorrow, I will have to find some normal clothes for Zidane and Garnet to wear and take them to the supermarket. Alas, we have already run out of food. Goodnight.  
  
*That night, the Sad and Hungry girl set her diary on the bedside table, Zidane fell asleep four doors down, Vivi sat up reading a story, Freya was sound asleep, and Dagger was dreaming away. Unbeknownst to all, an evil scheme was being hatched in the first floor wastebasket. The lock's beaten remains were stunned. After all it's efforts to make the Formerly Lonely Girl miserable, he had only cured her loneliness. What had gone wrong? Had it not summoned Kuja as well? In any case, it would have to double its efforts. The Formerly Lonely Girl would not get away with going against her parents wishes! Laughing evilly to itself, the Lock began to plot its next move…*  
  
To be continued…  
  
  
  
  
  
Hee hee! Just picture it! Vivi in a baseball cap! *Giggles madly*  
  
Anyway, enjoy the story and R&R. Updated once or twice every weekend. (Figured I use the Sly Eagle's popularity and jump on the bandwagon)  
  
Goodnight! 


	3. Poor Jim...

Disclaimer: Do I *really* need another one?

  
  


Wow! I can't believe all the responses! I feel so...popular? Weird...

Anyway, here is the next chapter of:

  
  


The Diary of a Grounded Gamer

  
  
  
  


Entry #3

  
  


The Third Day of Spring Vacation

  
  


Morning-

It is now Monday, only seven more days until my family returns. This is a problem for obvious reasons. But I have no time to ponder over this now, being as I must go to the store in a few moments, accompanied by Dagger and Zidane. I am doomed.

  
  


I figured that, while still dangerous, leaving the well-behaved Knight to look after Vivi was better than bringing a five-foot plus rat and a child who seems to have no face to the supermarket could be much, much worse. I hope my house still stands when I return.

  
  


But less about the future and more about the present. Currently, I have managed to find an outfit of the right proportions for the Queen. Unfortunately, the jean cut-offs are a little on the, er, short side. Just a little...okay, a lot. Oh well, it can not be helped. Next I was faced with the task of figuring out a way to hide Zidane's tail. This proved to be a greater problem than I thought. You see, the tail seems to have a mind of its own. I found simply letting him tie it around his waist doesn't work for longer than a minute. Trying to loop it through the belt holes doesn't work either. Finally, after trying many other remedies, (most of them vetoed by a very annoyed genome) I resorted to using the world-wide cure-all-duct tape.

  
  


It worked, but Zidane was not happy about it. In the end, it took a little persuading from Dagger to change his mind.

  
  


After a quick introduction to the magical machines known as 'cars', (Hey, that looks like an aircab!) and seatbelts, and an even faster lecture on the do's and don't's of being in public, (no, you CAN'T bring Ultima Weapon) we were on our way. As I pulled out of the mile-long driveway though, I couldn't shake the feeling that I had forgotten something important. Yet, no matter how hard I try, I can't remember what it was...

  
  


Alas, I must go, we have reached the local Walmart (proof that those things exist everywhere) and it is time to try and survive a shopping trip with the cast of FFIX.

  
  
  
  


Later that evening...

  
  


Looking back on my earlier entry, I find that I was right. I was doomed. Being the terribly unlucky person that I am, I ran into the local Jocks in the soup can aisle.

  
  


Well, there goes what little social life I had left.

  
  


Here's what happened. Dagger had been reciveing some odd stares from the male population for a while now, courtesy of the super-short shorts. Why I couldn't have just cut off another pair of jeans is anyone's guess, and right now I am really wishing I had, though it might not have improved the situation anyway...

  
  


*the words fade away as the scene comes to life*

  
  


Dagger didn't like this. For a while, it had been okay, just "get the bread, yeah, in the bag on the left," or "do you like lettuce?", like any other shopping she had done on Gaia. The only difference was that the men here seemed to be so much more...forward...

  
  


Up until now, she had been able to put up with them, but this new group, all wearing the same yellow and blue jackets and flexing bulging muscles, were, for lack of a better word, annoying. Especially the blonde who kept whistling. The girl seemed to think the same thing, and quickly turned the grocery cart in a one-eighty. This would have worked, had it not been for the tallest of the bunch grabbing her shoulder. 

  
  


"Hey there, little girl, who's the hot little friend you got there?"

  
  


"Go. Away."

  
  


For some reason, the tall person didn't hear her. He seemed to busy staring at something just beyond her. Dagger turned to see what it was, but only the many cans of soup stared back. What was the boy's problem...maybe he had some mental condition. The poor child...

  
  


"Heeeeelllooo gorgeous!"

  
  


Dagger didn't have time to reply, being as a flying blur with a tail interrupted...

  
  


*the scene fades away as the diary's words reappear* 

Well, you can guess how that went. Luckily the duct tape held and no one saw the tail. Good ole duct tape...

  
  


Anyway, that is only the half of it. After managing to get the grocery's and bailing Zidane out of jail, we had to visit the hospital and check on poor Jim. The nurse said he should recover in about a month. Too bad the football play-offs were next week...but for some reason I don't feel all that guilty. Oh well.

  
  


After all that, we were finally allowed to return home. Unfortunately, most of the frozen foods had started to melt, so Zidane had to take on eating them all for a mission. All forty-two gallons of Rocky Road never made it out of the hospital parking lot. Zidane's headache, on the other hand, lasted much longer. 

  
  


Our trio returned home, and after spending a grueling five minutes unloading, we were treated to an amazing dinner cooked up by Freya and Vivi in honor of our return and Zidane's great left hook. All's well that ends well, as my mother used to say.

  
  


Except for the fact that all *didn't* end well. The lovely stake turned out to be the thing I forgot to mention. The family cows. Poor Bessie never had a chance against Flare. Vivi was heartbroken when he found out, and though I told him many times that it wasn't his fault, he went to bed early that night, complaining of a stomach ache. I feel awful...

  
  


But it is now twelve minutes to ten o'clock, and it is time for me to retire. I fear that I'm going to have nightmares about cows and angry foot-ball coaches, but, alas, it can not be helped. Goodnight.

  
  


*Once again, the Tired and formerly Hungry girl went to sleeping, dreaming of cows tossing around the old pigskin. Dagger, after admonishing Zidane and then profusely thanking him, retired to her room for the night, as did Zidane. Vivi was fast asleep and Freya put on the finishing touches to her new leather coat. In the backyard dumpster though, an evil scheme was being hatched. The Lock had finally found the missing piece. Who knew that the garbage bin would be where the Silver Crusader would turn up. Unfortunately, the former Angel of Death was unconscious, and didn't seem to be waking up any time soon. But the Lock could wait. Oh yes, it could wait...*

  
  


DA DUM!

  
  
  
  
  
  


*Sigh* 

  
  


Too bad my social life is in about the same sorry state. And I don't even need a psycho Terran to help me out. Oh well...

  
  


On a much happier note, the plot finally seems to be picking up, and soon the entirety of the Evil Lock's Evil Plan will be revealed. Will the Sad and Lonely Girl be able to win against these forces of evil? Find out in the next chapter (or chapters) of The Diary of a Grounded Gamer!

  
  


-Celia


	4. And the plot thickens...

Disclaimer: I own Squaresoft! MWEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEEEEE!!

*Celia wakes up* Dang.

  
  


Many huzzahs to all the nice people who reviewed. Thanks a bunch!

  
  


And, without further ado, the next chapter of...

  
  


The Diary of a Grounded Gamer

  
  
  
  
  
  


Entry #4

  
  


The Fourth Day of Spring Vacation

  
  
  
  


Did you know I hate Mondays? Especially the kind of Mondays that require you to blow half your life savings, lose the family cow, and wind up having to explain 'fanfiction' to Freya, who is addicted to the Internet. I fear she may never return to Gaia should the chance present itself. Woe is the fate of Burmecia. On second thought, forget the Land of Eternal Rain, woe is me. But that was only the beginning. It got worse, much worse.

  
  


I underestimated the power of the football coach in our community. 

  
  


Biiiiiiiiiig mistake as it turns out. Everyone's favorite carnivore turned up on my doorstep this morning. Zidane had to push poor Vivi under a table and Dagger stood in front of the door to my dad's office to prevent him from noticing the six foot rat reading 'Death of a Fairy Tale'. I think she closed the door, because Coach Butch didn't scream. Well, he didn't scream about mutant mice....

  
  


I, for the second time in three days, found myself against the wall with a weapon at my throat, Mr. Meaty yelling obscenities about 'some ****** prick messin' up ****** **** with his team.' I edited out the rest of the fifteen minute rant, but it was enough to make Cid Highwind blush. He might of gone on longer, but alas, the world will never know. I learned my third important lesson in the ever growing list.

  
  


1. Never pull the tail

2. Don't let jerks near Dagger when Zidane is in the same county

3. NEVER EVER tick Vivi off

  
  


Just like Dyne, black magic has a much more intimidating look to it when cast in real life. It was a small spell, a simple Fire at the most, but I guess that Coach doesn't like barbeques as much as he said. I wound up paying hospital bills again, but it was- just like before- definitely worth it. Vivi, though profusely sorry, positively beamed when I told him how cool his spell was. Just, don't use it on the cows anymore.

  
  
  
  


Vivi said he'd try his best.

  
  


Other than that, and getting my house checked for a gas leak (Freya and Vivi hid in the barn) nothing else happened for the rest of the afternoon. That evening, though, was quite another story. Once again, I was witness to a miracle. But this time, I think it was more of a curse.

  
  


For, at five to seven this evening, a strange discovery was made by Dagger. She announced this by letting out a record breaking scream. It was a cold night, and I had just warmed up some soup for dinner...

  
  


*the diary's words fade away as the scene comes to life*

  
  


Vivi felt bad about the cow, though it really wasn't his fault...Well, it sure *looked* like a monster, and it made that weird 'moo' sound too! But it was too late to bring poor Bessie back. He'd just have to do his best not to make the same mistake twice. Out of habit, he adjusted his hat and went back to chopping vegetables for the soup. 

  
  


And as for that bear creature, he was under direct orders from Zidane to fry it. This time he didn't feel too bad about giving it a good scare. After all, it was being mean to the nice girl who had given him the baseball cap! But before the mage could continue his mental rant, Vivi's thoughts were cut short by an earsplitting screech. It was Daggers.

  
  


Hopping off the stool, he ran out back to where the Queen had just dumped a load of garbage into the trash can. In the giant container, though, lay none other than...Kuja?

  
  


Dagger passed out on the spot.

  
  


*the scene fades away and the words come back into focus*

  
  


So now, the unconscious Silver Crusader has joined are pathetic ranks. Judging from the lump on the side of his head, I wouldn't want to be him when he wakes up. Freya and I helped patch what we could back together, and he's sleeping peacefully in my sister's room right now. So with everything back under control, I guess it's finally time for me to get some rest. It's almost ten o'clock.

  
  


*That night, the lock finally felt appeased. It's dastardly plot was ready, now all he needed was the last ingredient for his Recipe of Doom. Quietly, the brass splinters focused all their energy, and in the sky, the storm clouds rolled in front of the full moon...*

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Sorry it's short...my dad needs the computer...

  
  
  
  


Read and review please!

  
  


-Celia


	5. Rain, rain, go away, little Vivi wants t...

Disclaimer: Roses are red, violets are blue, Me no own, so you no sue! (Yah..it's been done before)

  
  


I'm late and overworked.

  
  


AAAAAUGH! What have I gotten myself into? Looks like I'm in for the long haul, with The Job just starting and the Diary going strong. Not to mention I just did another MPA story, under Dragon Blond 04's account. 

  
  


*cries like a baby upon seeing her workload*

  
  


Oh well, it cannot be helped. I got myself into it, so I'll just have to get myself out. Now without anymore whines from the author, here's the next chapter of

  
  
  
  
  
  


The Diary of Grounded Gamer

  
  
  
  
  
  


Entry#5

The Fifth Day of Spring Break

  
  
  
  


If you ever find yourself victim to some particularly vengeful fates, do not try and fight them. It won't work. Believe me, I tried. And Kuja himself landed smack dab in my dumpster.

  
  


It is now Wednesday evening, and it's is wet. Wet, cold, rainy and dismal. The outlook is grim here in the kitchen tonight. Then again, the universe IS doomed, so I probably would be worried if I wasn't a little depressed. Perhaps I should enlighten you as to the situation in the middle of nowhere. News travels about as fast as molasses going uphill in January around here. We were just informed that President Kennedy was assassinated. Draw your own conclusions.

  
  


Last night we did our best to patch the bloodied warrior, and had to replace his tattered armor. Of course, if we had left the, er, revealing choice of clothing on him, there might have been some more maimed jocks around town. Even without the face paint and midriff cut, I'm still a little worried. The man is Kuja after all.

  
  


I regret to say that this morning, though, no one was snoring in my sister's bed. Instead there was a broken window, a charred front lawn, and what looked to be smoke on the horizon. Of course, that just could have been the town barbeque...

  
  


Shortly after the Silver Crusader's disappearance, the heavens seemed to unleash it's furry on poor Thompson's Creek. Never in the town's history has such torrential rains drenched the usually parched prairie ground. I'm worried.

  
  


Freya is outside milking the cows, being as she's the only one brave enough to face the rain. To her, it's nothing special, just a little heavier than what she's used to. I hope that wherever Kuja is, he has maintained what little sanity he had left. Somehow, I feel that it was me who brought the storm on, but the very idea is silly and superstitious. Then again, Zidane is downstairs fixing dinner with Vivi. I thought that was impossible as well. 

  
  


What could I have done to bring on such a chain of cosmic events is anyone's guess, but I really wish that I hadn't. No one wants to be responsible for the apocalypse. 

  
  


Today we had to use the dusty generator for the first time in ages. Too bad I had no real clue how to turn the blasted thing on, it was quite the adventure. It all started when the power went out around lunchtime...

  
  


*the words fade away as the scene comes to life*

  
  


"It's cold out here..."

  
  


The girl looked up from the mess of wires and buttons that they had made of the formerly neat and tidy generator, "What?"

  
  


"I said it's cold," answered Zidane. This wasn't the first time that she hadn't heard him.

  
  


"What!?

  
  


"I SAID it's cold!"

  
  


"WHAT? I can't hear you over the rain!"

  
  


"IT'S FREEZING OUT HERE, MY TAIL WENT NUMB, AND THE ONLY THING WE SEEM TO BE DOING IS MAKING A BIGGER MESS!!"

  
  


It took her a while to reply.

  
  


"Oh...sorry..."

  
  


Dagger sighed, her teeth chattering. Sure the ice cavern was cold, but at least they hadn't been soaking wet while walking through it. She hoped that they would be able to fix the thing before they all caught pneumonia. Zidane and the girl had managed to pry open the odd looking box, but they hadn't been able to activate it. If it took much longer she was going to take Vivi inside. The poor mage was dead on his feet and ice crystals were forming on his hat. How it could get so cold in the middle of summer was anyone's guess, and she had a sinking feeling that Kuja was somehow behind the change in weather.

  
  


"Zidane, pass me the wrench."

  
  


"What? Can't hear you."

  
  


Dagger sighed. Here we go again...

  
  


"I SAID pass me the wrench!"

  
  


*the scene fades away and the words of the diary appear*

  
  


You can guess how that ended. But, as my mother used to say, all's well that ends pretty good. We went to bed early tonight, the candles wont hold out much longer. Zidane kicked the blasted generator after a while and ended our quest to fix it. It's nine to nine, and bedtime for me, so goodnight.

  
  
  
  


*the lock's remains smiled from it's place in the landfill. Finally, it's plan was all working out. Soon, soon, the world would pay...laughing to itself, the lock watched as the final part of his grand scheme fell into place. Yes...soon...*

  
  
  
  
  
  


To be continued...

  
  
  
  
  
  


You know, that lock's plans keep getting bigger and bigger....

  
  


Anyway, I hope you like this chapter, it's not as long as usual for the same reasons as the last one. Forgive me...*sniffles*

  
  


Don't forget to read my other fic, The Job, before you leave, I'm planning on having the next chapter for that one tomorrow. See ya!

  
  


-Celia


	6. Why black mages shouldn't own stores

Disclaimer: *boring announcer man voice* And so, the little ideas run from Muse river, trying desperately to make it to the Ocean of Thought. There are many dangers on their path, such as writer's block, ignorance, and the occasional brain fart. But some ideas, the more persistent ones and more interesting ones, usually come form somewhere else, namely other people. And those ideas become fanfiction. Note the word 'fan' in conjunction with the word 'fiction'. As in not real, as in the 'fan' wrote 'fictional' stories about their favorite characters. Therefore, logically, the stories are not originally made by the fan and are supposed to be read in good humor and not to suck out money from the fan in a sadistic horrible way that most evil, although I like evil, beings known as lawyers love to do just because they can't understand 'fan' in conjunction with the word 'fiction' !!! Thank you!

Um…don't kill me. I know I'm over two months late…

Yeah, took me forever to find my own fic without the search option. Yeesh…anywho, without making you wait any longer, here is the next chapter of

The Diary of a Grounded Gamer

Entry #6

The Sixth Day of Spring Vacation

Today was an interesting day. As of now, I have a cow reading this over my shoulder. Peachy. 

Our barn was flooded like everything else, and in an effort to save the remaining cows, we sent out a rescue team. Well, it wasn't a team in the truest sense of the word, but Leviatian is too big to be considered only one person. Ah yes, and I have a new favorite eidolon. 

Summoning, like everything else that I've found, is different in real life. It took our summoning master about an hour to call Leviatian from the shadowy depths of his dimension, but maybe that's just because the creature isn't used to flying long distance. Then again, the wait was worth it. He was amazing, to put it lightly, and nearly impossible to describe. 

It took him around ten minutes to rescue the cows, and then he faded away. So now we have cows wandering around in the living room. Vivi and Zidane are building a fence out of driftwood right now, and then Freya and I have volunteered to heard them into their makeshift pen. Mom won't be happy about having cows on the linoleum, but what can I do? Better to have a hole in the floor then a herd of dead cows.

But onto more important matters. I need to write faster, this cow is trying to eat my journal. And here I thought that only goats did that. 

We haven't seen hide nor hair of Kuja, or the cause of this little misadventure. Freya has searched all dimension travel lore on the Internet, but all that surfaced was a bunch of immature and lousy fanfics and the occasional site proclaiming the end of the world. Perhaps they are right, being as the rain hasn't let up yet and I'm having troubles locating the rest of Thompson's Creek under the lake that has sprouted in the former deserted plains. Besides the rain and water level, the sun has been blocked by clouds. We have almost used all the candles in the house. We've rationed them now, as well as our food.

Zidane is not happy.

Neither are the cows, and downstairs is starting to smell. Then I discovered the problem. 

We didn't remember to get the hay, and Garnet is too worn out to call Leviatian again, and we don't have any cow food in the house. So now, Zidane and I have been chosen to wade out to the barn and fetch as much hay as possible. So, tied to the house by rope, we began our adventure with little hope, and returned with a new mission…

*the words fade away as the scene comes to life*

"Ew…I don't want to know what I stepped in. Gross…it's stuck to my shoe, and now it won't come off…"

"Thanks for the narration."

"Sorry."

"So where is this cow food anyway?"

"In the loft."

"Do ya think it's still dry?"

"Um…no."

"Great…"

Silently, the pair trudged along through the mud, occasionally slowing to free a limb from the mud below or walk around a fallen log or powerline. The girl tried to explain electricity to Zidane, and the dangers of walking through electrically charged water, but failed, so they continued on in silence. Upon reaching the barn, Zidane climbed up the loft, ignoring the creaky, rotting ladder and the loose floorboards. The girl, however, wasn't as lucky, a ladder rung broke while she climbed up and she put a foot through the ancient floor of the hayloft twice. 

Apparently, she lacked the balance of the Terran, and Zidane was now wishing he had brought along Freya instead, but she was busy minding the cows and Vivi. She got along unusually well with the testy creatures, and there was an unspoken agreement that she would watch them until the barn was no longer flooded.

"So, how much of this stuff are we going to need?" he asked, looking at the gigantic mound of straw.

"All of it."

Zidane did a double take, "What!?"

"Well…the cows eat a lot…" she finished lamely.

"Great…just…great."

Taking a deep breath, he lifted a bale and hopped back down on the ladder, starting the descent, followed closely by the owner of the accursed cows. But the ladder didn't like Zidane's extra weight, and showed it by swaying and bucking violently. Several rungs cracked and finally, gravity and rotting wood overpowered Zidane and all his dexterity, throwing him from the old ladder and into the pool below. The hale bale broke on impact scattering straw, string, and Zidane in every direction. Needless to say, it was an impressive landing.

"Ow…"

*the scene fades away and the words return*

Well, some good came out of that misadventure. We had steaks for dinner that night and the crate that Zidane landed in, and got stabbed by, turned out to be a very important clue. On the piece of wood that had jammed itself onto the poor boy's tail was written a few words…

Black Cat Syth. Shop

Contents: One Possessed Lock (Style-Demonic Brass)

5555 Dirt Road

Thompson's Creek, KS

I cannot write anymore.

*the Lock laughed from it's place in the underwater landfill that it had created. It's vessel had arrived, and the world would never be the same…_come a little closer said the spider to the fly…_*

To be continued….

Yeah…I know I'm evil. It's just who I am…

Anywho, look at The Job for your bonus chapter. Ya know, the one for the poor readers who were stuck waiting eon's for this pathetic excuse for a chapter…Beware of the shameless plugs and publicity stunts, though, they're a real killer.

-Celia

The Mistress of Mayhem, Danishes, and (as always) Nothing in General


	7. The Revival of Bessie and Daisy

Today's disclaimer will be read by Crono of Chrono Trigger  
  
Disclaimer: *Crono walks out onto the stage and clears his throat* "."  
  
Now wasn't that beautiful!? *sniffle* We should all try and be more like Crono! Anywho, here's the next (and final?) chapter.ON TIME FOR A CHANGE!! *fans die of shock*  
  
It's the big showdown between the Lock and our heroine! Who'll emerge victorious? Read on to find out!  
  
  
  
The Diary of A Grounded Gamer  
  
Entry #7 The Seventh Day of Spring Vacation  
  
I now know why my Playstation's guardian was so difficult to defeat. I know why it was a struggle to stop the vile creature. I know that I should never have tried to break the rules. And I know that I have discovered this far too late.  
  
But I also know that no demon is a match for the combined efforts of Freya, Vivi, Zidane, Dagger, and yours truly.  
  
The battlefield-Thompson's Creek Landfill. The fighters-My party and a possessed Kuja, And now to describe the ultimate game of chance.  
  
It all began this morning as we suited up for this final showdown. The night before, after I finished my entry we stayed up late into the night, discussing what our sole clue could mean. After decided that this demon, after being freed by the rifle had teleported the heroes of Final Fantasy to my basement as punishment. Upon seeing that its plan hadn't worked, it had attempted to summon Kuja to cause mass chaos. Or something to that extent.  
  
After a breakfast of steak and eggs (Daisy was too loud for a certain Terran's liking last night), we gathered our weapons, each hero with their respective battle gear and my with my father's shotgun and the best camouflage gear I could find on such short notice. A quick glance in the mirror showed me that I had transformed from a timid gamer to a rambo-like warrior. I must say I was proud of my new look.  
  
We left the water-logged front porch at six o'clock, sandbagging the door in case the flood waters rose any higher in our absence. At the time, I was worried about the cows, after all, leaving a herd of bovines in you're living room seemed like a recipe for disaster, but alas, it could not be helped.  
  
A makeshift raft took us to the landfill, and with help from the fast- moving current we reached the dump in good time. Tying the rickety dingy to the chain-link fence, our team began swimming deeper into the junkyard, a few float spells (courtesy of Dagger) aiding the ascent into enemy territory. After quite some time of wandering about in the boggy yard, I was beginning to wonder if we would even find Kuja and the lock at all, but the cold sound of evil laughter answered my question.  
  
And so began the battle of the century.  
  
(the words fade away as the scene comes to life)  
  
"Hahahahaha.I see that you haven't changed at all, my nemises."  
  
"Neither have you Kuja," growled Zidane, tail swishing form side to side as he readied the Ultima Weapon for attack.  
  
"I wasn't talking to you, monkey," answered Kuja's voice, "I was speaking to the young wench just behind you."  
  
"Shove it."  
  
The possessed genome looked mildly surprise at the girl's response, "Hmm.you seem different from the last time we met. No matter, I will defeat you easily. You're pathetic friends are no match for my TRUE POWER! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHahahahaha-urk!"  
  
Blowing the smoke from the gun, the girl scowled at the wounded Kuja, "Don't waste my time."  
  
But to her shock, Kuja stood, unharmed.  
  
"What.how.did you do that?"  
  
Zidane didn't stick around for Kuja's reply. Leaping onto the top of an old Volvo, he jumped up and drove the Ultima Weapon downward, slashing Kuja across the shoulder, and using his momentum to his advantage, slammed a good hard punch into the wound before removing the weapon. He leaped out of the way just in time to avoid Vivi's Doomsday spell. Dagger followed suit with the mighty dragon king. The beast soared down from the rainy sky, sending a blast of fire down at the dwarfed Kuja. Freya leapt into the air as well, using a barrage of spears as a distraction so that the girl could get in a few good shots.  
  
The fighters drew back to their positions, waiting for the smoke to clear. They didn't have to wait long.  
  
"Hahahaha.is that the best you can do?"  
  
Their eye's widened and Zidane muttered a few choice words as Kuja stepped down from his place on the junk-heap, not a hair out of place.  
  
"Did you really think you could defeat me? Did you honestly think you had a chance?"  
  
The Lock continued it's speech, laughing every now and then, coming closer all the while. The girl shook her head in disbelief, watching the demon continue it's rant. Slowly, he powered up a spell, an Ultima.A flash of lightning illuminated the sky. And then she saw it.  
  
The light had caught on a small object, a glass baulbe hanging from a chain around Kuja's neck. Inside of it were small pieces of shattered brass.familiar shattered pieces of brass.Thinking quickly, she came up with an idea just crazy enough to work.  
  
"Zidane! Garnet! Vivi! Keep him distracted! Freya, get a spear and aim for that necklace he's wearing!"  
  
They nodded in unison. Kuja looked mildly amused and continued to conjure up his most powerful attack at the bidding of the Lock. But his chanting was quickly interrupted by a Thundaga. The spell, aided by the thunderclouds above caused Kuja to lose his focus, and the Grand Lethal that came just after that didn't help his concentration much. Dagger finished with a Slow spell, hoping to keep him from moving. Freya readied her spear and waited for the signal from the girl.  
  
"NOW!!"  
  
Freya nodded and let the lance fly. It went straight and true, causing the Lock's shield to waver, just slightly. And that was enough. Holding the gun steady, she fired.  
  
The bullet tore through the rainy air, and pierced through the shield just after the lace, catching the magical barrier at it's weakest point. With no resistance from the magic wall, the projectile went on, straight into the glass that contained the Lock's remains. For a moment, time seemed to freeze as the glass shattered, and the bullet hit the Lock itself.  
  
With an inhuman scream, Kuja's image twisted slightly, disappearing in the flash of light that followed. The ground shook wildly, throwing the five heroes off balance and into the frigid water below.  
  
(the scene fades away as the words return)  
  
In the spot that Kuja once stood was a swirling blue portal, the colors within seemed to melt into one another, causing a most interesting light show for my friends and I. We looked at each other for a moment, without saying a word. Zidane broke the silence.  
  
"I guess we better get going."  
  
I answered that it would probably be best. We didn't want to twist time and space any more than we already had. After many heartfelt goodbyes, I waved a final goodbye to my friends of the past week. With a flash of light the portal closed, and the sky grew brighter and brighter. I passed out after that.  
  
I awoke again this afternoon, still dressed in my Rambo attire. Looking about my room, I saw no signs of the Final Fantasy IX heroes. There were no cows in the living, and the furnace was still intact. Bessie and Daisy mooed at me from the barn, and the sandbags were back in the barn where they belonged. The only strange thing was that I found no sign of the Lock. There was the cupboard, my Playstation placed back inside, but no lock. Other than that, the only thing out of place was that my baseball cap was missing.  
  
Changing back into my regular clothes, I replaced the shotgun and rifle, and cleaned up the pantry. The candles were all placed back where they belonged so I didn't need to worry about that. After a small, and relatively boring dinner, I decided that it was time for bed.  
  
Now only one thing remains for me to do.  
  
I must face my parents and tell them where their precious lock has disappeared to.  
  
How in the world did they get a hold of the unholy appliance in the first place? There are still many mysteries for me to explore, and I have a feeling that my ventures with the unknown are not over, but for now, I need some sleep.  
  
*She placed the diary on her bedside table and fell asleep.  
  
Far far away, though, in a world not unlike her own, Vivi sat down at his place on the Hilde Garde VI. Noticing something strange about his pocket, he dug around in his coat until he pulled out a worn baseball cap and a Game Boy Advance. Inside the odd contraption was a cartrage with the words Megaman Battle Network written on it.  
  
"What could this be?"*  
  
The end?  
  
You be the judge.  
  
-Celia Mistress of Mayhem, Soggy Kneaded Erasers, and Nothing in General 


End file.
